


As long as you're here

by Ellies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Boys In Love, College, Distance, Hinata is still in Miyagi, Kageyama is in Tokyo, Love Confessions, M/M, Sad Kageyama Tobio, They meet after years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellies/pseuds/Ellies
Summary: Kageyama had thought that volleyball was his life, but when he went to college he realised that it was life only if it had Shouyou in it.And Kageyama was alone.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Implied Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi - Relationship
Kudos: 45





	As long as you're here

**Author's Note:**

> I think wrote this fic three years ago, and I recently found it and I just wanted to post it because I remember me writing it and thinking it was a little bit sad but cute.
> 
> It's far from perfect, it doen's follow the recent manga development, and probably if I wrote it now, I would write it completely different, add more characters like Yachi and Shimizu, and many other things.
> 
> But. It's something from a particular moment in my past and I wished to publish it here, so... I hope you enjoy it, even if it short.

Kageyama stared at the gym, his eyes looking for changes in the big space he hadn’t seen in years. He leaned against the doors, sighing when he realized how silent it was.  
He didn’t remember it like that, but full of people, his people, his team, cheerful, and loud, and joyful. They were happy, here.

When he had received the call from Nishinoya, he felt a bit of a shock. He was 19 years old, almost 20, and was studying in one of the best Universities of Tokyo. He had a new team, good people, but not as special as the ones who witnessed his growth, who helped him in the process.  
When he was accepted, he told the whole team, even the former members, Daichi and Suga first of all, and then to Hinata.  
He looked at him with full eyes, joy sparkling as lightning. He was happy for him.  
Kageyama knew that Hinata wasn’t able to go to that same university, it didn’t matter how much he wanted it, because he had to stay closer to home, and the college tuition was too high for just his mother’s salary, even with a scholarship. He was good at volleyball, but that wasn’t enough.  
Kageyama, instead, had no problem with money, and sure it wasn’t a problem to be far from home, alone in a new town. He wasn’t a city boy, but he managed to adapt. Now he could walk in the streets without being hit by rushing workers. The only thing he couldn’t stand were the crowdy trains that didn’t let you breathe. So he walked, and sometimes he biked to university. He wasn’t that far and, if he was in the mood, he could even run, as he used to do when he was in high school, running with Hinata through the streets of Miyagi. 

“Oh, Kageyama, you’re here,” a gentle voice woke him up and he turned, finding the smiling face of Sugawara.  
Tobio couldn’t help himself to feel a little speechless. He seemed taller than he remembered, or maybe it was just the time that had passed that made him look like… he had no word other than _radiant_.  
“You… look very good, Suga-san,”  
“Please, forget the honrifics?” he told him, but he sound more like a question. “You are not my kohai anymore and… you’ve grown too, Kageyama.”  
He felt himself blushing but he nodded, smiling shyly.  
“I’m so glad you called me, Kageyama! I… I really appreciated what you did for Daichi, last year,” he said, and it seemed to Tobio that Sugawara’s eyes were a little wet.  
He felt himself blushing, and a little bit nervous. He still didn’t know how to deal with that kind of situations. He just smiled at Suga and the older boy just put a hand on his arm, lightly, before moving it away.

When Suga told him they had to go, he just nodded and followed him without sharing a word.  
The road to the restaurant was a little tense, and he knew Sugawara felt it, because he didn’t try to talk to him. The meeting place was a little far from Karasuno, but Suga was driving and he just had the opportunity to look outside the car and think about anything.  
The only problem was the he was thinking about _someone_ , and it was killing him.

* * *

“We’re here,” Suga said, too early. He didn’t get off the car, he just stared at Tobio with a thoughtful smile. “There’s something you want to ask me?”  
“No,” he said, impulsively, but it regretted it the moment he spoke. “Yes. I… I don’t know”  
“Take your time, we are still not late,”  
He stayed still a few second, before talking again, eyes steady on his feet.  
“Is Shouyou going to be there?”  
Sugawara swallowed slowly, and Kageyama was able to hear the gulp, the sound breaking the silence in the car.  
“Yes, of course,”  
He knew it, but the knowledge it wasn’t enough for his heart not to race.  
“Okay.”  
“Have you two something–”  
“I… I’d prefer not to talk about it”  
Suga nodded, and started to unfasten the seatbelt. “Yes – sorry. I was being intrusive,”  
“No, don’t worry… We just… I mean, we don’t… we haven’t talked since university started,”  
_More than two years_. He counted the days as they passed, yet he didn’t spend one to write him.  
The older boy was starting to talk, but stopped when he saw that Tobio hadn’t finished yet. “I thought he was resentful. You know– for the university. I though he was jealous…”  
“I don’t think–”  
“No, me neither,” he snorted, with a half laugh. “That’s not like Shouyou,” he wouldn’t have been jealous of Kageyama. He was happy for him. A little too happy. “Before graduation, I told him I didn’t ever wanted to play without him. I was stupid, but I just missed him _already_ , and his spikes and his stupid cheerful behaviour and…” he felt something hot falling on his hands and realized he had started sobbing somewhere during his speech. “But I couldn’t say that to him, I couldn’t say that _I loved him_ so much that I would have given up everything, my stupidly expensive university, and my stupidly good team just to have the chance of playing every single day with him.”  
He shut, and Sugawara said nothing, and he felt extremely stupid for that outburst.  
“Shouyou ruined me because he made feel something and, the moment I left, I knew that it would have haunted me down for the rest of my life.”  
“I am so, so sorry, Kageyama,” he said, and even with the emotional state he was in, he noticed that Suga’s voice cracked at mid-sentence. “I am sure Hinata doesn’t hate you, nor he’s resentful… I just think he’ll be enthusiastic to see you,”  
“Yeah,” he said, and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of is jacket. “Let’s go. Now we _are_ late.”

* * *

Smiling in front of his former team was not hard at all. He felt natural to laugh at Nishinoya and Tanaka being… well, Noya and Tanaka, and at the worried look in Asahi’s eyes that was a lot more relaxed than he remembered. He had let his hair grow, and it looked day after day more adult. It was strange, though, to think that they were reaching adulthood.  
When they came in, Suga went to Daichi, cheering him with a light kiss on the cheek. Kageyama, instead, immediately noticed the presence of Shouyou as he was drawn to his natural light. He didn’t look at him. He politely cheered Ennoshita and Yamaguchi, shared an embarrassed look with Tsukishima and only then he dared to look at Hinata, who had stared at him for what it felt like ages. His gaze burned like fire, the sight of him so, so painful.  
He was exactly as he remembered, yet he had something foreign, like he couldn’t precisely arrange a detail in his figure. He remembered how he had grown in the third year, reaching the goal of 170 centimetres. Kageyama had reached the 186s, so he was still so much taller than him. 

The hair was shorter, though. They still had the bright wonderful orange colour he loved, but they were styled with what it seemed a shortcut. It was ridiculously hot.  
He had always known that he would have grown as a handsome man, and that was the tangible proof. He was sexy, with perfect lineaments and a fit body. Obviously, even Hinata knew how he looked like.  
“Hi,” he said, but he wasn’t smiling. He had a serious face that didn’t fit him, and he seemed nervous.  
“Hi.” he repeated, breathless. He couldn’t manage to appear intelligent. More like an amoeba, maybe. He felt the overwhelming urge to run out the restaurant, but he stayed still, and sat.  
He found himself smiling and blushed when he saw that Suga was looking at him with a little grin.  
Hinata was in front of him, and still he wasn’t looking at him, or talking, or giving any sign that he cared about his presence. Kageyama felt something in his stomach and suddenly he wasn’t hungry anymore. He was still so desperately in love with Hinata, and they hadn’t seen or written each other in years, and… was he so easy to forget?  
He clenched his fist and tensed. Tsukishima, who wasn’t so far from him, looked at him and sighed.  
“Just relax, Kageyama. What do you have to be always so worried about?”  
He gave him a killing look, and Tsukishima laughed it off, and Daichi looked at Tsukishima with a severe look. It was Yamaguchi who, instead, talked to his friend.  
“Kei, don’t be such a jerk,” he grunted. “He’s grown up and you should too!”  
Everyone stared at Yamaguchi with a surprised look, as no one among them would have ever expected him to actually say that to Tsukishima, but he earned some shouting from Tanaka and Noya, clearly approving his words and behaviour.  


* * *

The dinner ended too soon. It was 2 AM and they were outside the restaurant, too late even for the bar. They had to go home.  
Kageyama felt something, a stinging sensation in his throat and the back of his eyes. He wasn’t fucking going to cry. He just… missed them. There was no replacement.  
The firsts to leave were Daichi and Suga, who had important business in the morning. They promised to organise another dinner like this, and more often.  
Then, gradually, everyone left, leaving Kageyama alone with Tanaka and Ennoshita, who were together just because they shared an apartment and Ennoshita’s car.  
“I live not far from here,” said Hinata, suddenly. “If you want to come by for a while, there’s no problem…” he said like he was hoping that they would say yes.  
“I’d love to, Hinata!” shouted Tanaka, and he was shushed by the other boy, who gripped him by his sleeve and pulled him by the car. “I’m sorry but we have to go, too. Yes, Tanaka, we have!” and they disappeared I the car, smiling as a greeting.  
They were the only ones left.  
Kageyama was staring awkwardly at the moon, trying to avoid any eye-contact.  
“So, are you coming, or going?”  
He could have gone home. He had the keys, and he could have walked. It wasn’t that far.  
“Kageyama?” Hinata said, coming closer. He didn’t say anything. “Tobio?” Hinata tried again, and that time Kageyama looked at him, his heart heavy in his throat. “Do you want to come?”  
“Why don’t you hate me?” he said, and Hinata widened his eyes, shocked.  
“W-what?” he asked, frowning.  
“We could have done so much together. And I left you,” in his words there were so many things unspoken.  
“Don’t be stupid. What are you talking about? You didn’t leave me,” he sounded angry now. “You had an opportunity, and you took it. It would have been stupid not to go in one of the best universities of Tokyo just because of me.”  
“You –”  
“I am perfectly fine here where I am. I can still play volleyball, and I like what I’m studying and I never wished otherwise,” he said, but flinched at Kageyama’s expression.  
“I did.”  
“Well, you shouldn’t have because –”  
“I did because I wanted to be with you so much I couldn’t play!”  
Hinata stared at him wide-eyed, his mouth open in shock. He couldn’t _play_?  
“I felt out of phase. I felt… I couldn’t toss, and it destroyed me. I thought you ruined me forever, because you became part of something fundamental of me. Can you imagine that? Me, unable of tossing to anyone,”  
Hinata was still silent, his shoulders tense and still.  
“Obviously, I had to solve it, and I managed to be good as I always were. But, in that week, I felt so helpless, Shouyou. I felt so helpless without you.”  
“You never wrote to me,” Hinata said eventually, and he sighed, nodding.  
“You didn’t either,”  
“You never told me the truth, and you just left,”  
“The truth?” he asked, but he know what he was referring about.  
“ ‘Hinata, I… I don’t want to toss without you.’ Bullshit!” he screamed, and Kageyama took a step back. “You would have never said something like that. You _love_ volleyball, as I do. You just hadn’t enough courage to tell me what you wanted to say.”  
“I felt alone without you,”  
“ _I loved you_ , Kageyama” he said, and Tobio felt his heart twist. “I don’t know what I feel now,”  
“Shouyou… please… can I – can I…” he started, but Hinata grabbed his wrist and pulled him down, and kissed him.  
Kageyama tensed, even if he wanted to relax, and Hinata put his hand on his stomach, and he gasped.  
His lips were warm, and insanely soft and sweet. He could taste the dessert Shouyou had eaten and he wished he could touch him. He felt the desire rising in his chest, and he pushed himself against the other boy, panting.  
Hinata stepped back, and smiled. His lips were swollen and red, and he looked beautiful even in the shitty light of the street lamp.  
“I lied. I never stopped thinking about you,” he whispered, and Kageyama blushed.  
“Shouyou…”  
“Stop it now. The fault is not only yours, okay?”  
“I have to go back to Tokyo.”  
“I think you have to come home with me.”  
“I…”  
“Come with me,” he said, looking him in the eyes.  
“I’ll have to leave you again.”  
“You are not leaving me. Not like the last time,”  
Kageyama closed his eyes, and pulled Hinata close to him, in a tight hug. He smelled the perfume in his hair, the same one as three years ago. He felt Hinata returning the hug, touching lightly his back.  
“I missed you so much.”  
“I’m not leaving either. We can be together, at least tonight.”  
“Yeah, I think we can.”

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so if you noticed some errors or sentences written in a funny English, let me know!!!


End file.
